The first four days of snow were fun. Getting off of work early, spending time with my wife and dogs at home, drinking beer and watching movies. But even that gets old when you can’t leave the house. As we were stuck there, watching the news, we noticed that the Portland airport was starting to cancel flights. Knowing that we had to act immediately or risk not being able to leave the next morning, my wife made reservations for a hotel near the airport. Of course the streets were in no condition to drive in, nor was the bus line running that would have gotten us to our destination: the MAX station.

So what would any adventurous type do? Of course, my pregnant wife and I walked 2 miles in the snow to the MAX station with our luggage on our back. Taking the MAX line was fine until we got through Portland. The rail that went to the airport was frozen, so we had to stand outside for over an hour waiting for a bus to come pick us up. We crammed inside like some kind of Chinese commuter and made our way to the airport and eventually to our hotel.

Needless to say by the time we woke up that morning, our flight to California had been canceled. Regardless, we made our way to the airport where we proceeded to stand in line for three hours trying to get re-booked. Everyone that was in line before us were getting delaying until after Christmas. It looked like our Christmas plans were probably ruined.

Luckily enough we were able to get a flight to Las Vegas later that afternoon, the two remaining seats on that airplane (probably because some unlucky schmo couldn’t make it to the airport in the snow) and the only plane within eight hours of Southern California. No, Las Vegas is not California, but my family’s home is only a 3 1/2 hour drive, so after renting a rental car, that’s what we did. Not the finest day of travel we’ve ever had, but surprisingly not the worse.

My family was quite proud of our grand efforts in to join them for Christmas. We didn’t think it was too big of a deal, because we wanted to escape the snow in the Northwest anyway. And besides that is the last traveling that we’ll be doing for quite a long time I imagine, as we’ll soon have a baby to contend with and I certainly don’t want to drag a child along on this sort of adventure in the future.

Never mind, I’m getting completely off the topic of what I was intending to do. Which is to explain, for posterity, why I’ve closed my typepad blog and revised this former movie review site.

I think it was all too fragmented. All too much over the place. Now I’m going to just try and stick everything here in one place. Furthermore, I’m trying to capture automatically all of the things that I’m doing elsewhere anyway. posting pictures on flickr, bookmarking delicious, google reader shared items.

Why do you care? You probably don’t.

I’ve gone through my old posts, deleted all the dumb shit that said “Oh, hey, I haven’t posted for ten years, and I’m not going here. Just here to say hey.” Links to reviews elsewhere have also  been deleted. You know, that kind of thing. So what exists here is a record of the kinds of posts that I enjoyed writing over the past seven years or so (YIKES).

A few things, I’ve noticed in reviewing the 1200+ posts that I filtered through, edited and deleted. (Which incidentally took probably 30 hours of work. It was an unbelievable amount of time to go through that much writing and decide what was worth saving.)

1. I, among many others I’m guessing, was doing a “proto-twitter” kind of thing where I would write one line as a blog. I’ve kept a handful of these in the archives, but deleted some.
2. I was sorry to delete some of the more lively comments. This was because the posts that invoked said comments were lame.
3. I was stupid. Jeez, some of the posts I did were very dumb, especially early on. I’ve kept these.

There will be more to come. More writing, more fun. Maybe a new movie review here and there. A personal post about being a new parent. You know, that kind of thing.

A passing resemblance
Originally uploaded by lightsoutfilms.

I laughed when I saw the original picture, and I laughed when I put the photoshop together. Now I’m laughing as I’m posting it here.

Breaking through a large window, the spider attacked with an unstoppable force. My wife screamed, I jumped on its back and began my brutal task. Punching into its hard carapace, I burst it as though it was made of plastic. I ripped off its antenna, its jaws. I was victorious.

Originally posted on lightsoutfilms.vox.com

We were trying to sell our old desk, and appropriately so, had to clean it out in order to put it on Craigslist. We had purchased a minimal, replacement desk from our favorite new home store, IKEA. So my wife cleaned it and threw down an armful of journals. Some completed, most less than a page full. I was most proud of the one that was completely filled to the brim with tiny scrawl detailing every awful moment covering a short time in my life post-college and pre-marriage. I don’t know that I want anyone to read that thing, come to think of it.

I’ve often wondered what my grandchildren will say when they look at those journals after I’m long in the grave. I don’t think that it’s something that I want to hide. Will they think me some kind of deviant creep, or will they think what I think I would think: Hey, he wasn’t just a grandpa, he was a person like us too.

Maudlin, isn’t it? And I guess it’s a long way to say that I’ve gone and done it again. I’ve gotten a new mode of writing and another way to waste my time filling up something with bits of writing.

Off Ebay I grabbed an AlphaSmart 3000. It’s a word processor meant for school children, but like the moleskine (which I still use, surprisingly enough) has something of a geek-chic resurgence among the writing set. People call it “distraction free” writing. And I get that. It’s a keyboard (full sized and nice and snappy by the way) with a four line LED. And that’s it. It stores the text, and then puts it in your text file when you connect it via USB.

So much easier than trying to write on a Blackberry. And I can’t get over how easy it is to fire up and get going without having to check your email, surf the web and answer incoming IM messages. Of course, best of all is that it runs on three AA batteries. Always available, light, and friendly. And here I am going on and on and on about this thing, blogging on a long forgotten site long hijacked by spam commenters and jackasses saying jackass things.

Wow. No one said that having a stream of consciousness note-taking device would always be a good thing.

That’s enough for now. I think I should go off and finally do some real writing. Is this the way for me to do that? Or is this just another brief detour only to distract myself from the actual task of sitting down to write?

My mental cheerleader is urging me on.

Number 1: Taking care of the ill
You have to tend your dogs as carefully as you would children, the only difference  is that you take them to a vet instead of a pediatrician. Granted, the kid costs a lot of money, but you still have to coddle both and comfort them when they’re whining, whimpering or crying.

Number 2:  Poop
Let’s face it.  Having both children and dogs, requires some amount of interaction with fecal matter. If you’re not picking it up off the floor , you’re wiping it off the walls,  off of them and trying to dispose of it in the most pleasant way possible.  Which isn’t always possible.

Number 3:  Toys everywhere

Number 4: You can’t just do what you want
Want to go on a nice weekend getaway? You need a babysitter.

Number 5: Exercise, discipline and affection
That’s all either of them need, all the time. Right? In that order.

My goodness. Dog ownership certainly has its ups and downs. I only just finished breaking up a massive fight between my naughty dog-children (those bitches!). The little one, Chloe, was mad-dogging the rottie, Rose over god knows what. I think Rose was guarding a new toy that I got her, or the chicken on the counter I had finished cooking. Either way, I noticed the behavior and got up calmly and quietly to give them both a stern talking to.

But before I made it over, Chloe launched herself at Rose, snarling and snapping.

I grabbed them both and attempted to break it up, but I would grab one, and the other one would attack and vice-versa. I wasn’t of sound enough mind to hit Chloe in the mouth – a mistake I am now paying for. They knocked down chairs, fur was flying.

At one point, I was able to get them separated, but while holding onto Rose, Chloe attacked again even as I threw shoes at her and tried to get her to stop her insane ways. 

Eventually I was able to grab Rose and throw her into our spare bedroom. I must say, that I focused so much on grabbing Rosie because in the last fight (last year?), she inflicted $700 worth of damage on Chloe just defending herself. Those big Rottie jaws!

So I feel bad for trying to grab her when it’s the other one’s fault, but money is money.

Finally I was able to survey the damage.  In addition to fur and slobber on the ground, there was a small piece of poop that must have escaped one of them in a primal panic. Great.

I was bitten on the hand on the knuckles and it was dripping blood onto the ground. One of them bit my arm. One of the little bastards bit my nipple through my Threadless T-shirt (The Killing Tree). My back, which I have been so carefully nursing the past few weeks is sore. My knees are bruised.

I get so angry, but really it’s not their fault. They’re animals.

Not one bite, scratch or mark on either dog, by the way.

Lucky them.

I love getting some well composed spam. Here's the latest:

Hello!!!

How are you? My name is Nadejda. I am 26 years old. I live in Russia,
city Yoshkar-Ola. I am cheerful woman, and like to do many things as
sport, camping, go to the cinema, theatre etc. In a word I like to do
all what like all people. I work in marketing structure on sale of
cosmetics. My dream this travel abroad. I know the english language
well enough.. I began to study english language approximately one year
ago. I wish tell to you history which have pushed me write to you. 8
months ago I have got acquainted with the man from other country by
name Justin. During this time we had good relations. We have
understood that our relations become serious and we have decided to
meet in his country. I wrote the application for reception the visa. I
waited reception of the visa approximately half of year. All time I
kept in touch with Justin through the internet and often called to
each other. I and Justin waited reception of the visa to our meeting.
I have received the invitation from the ambassador for reception of
the visa. My director has given me long-term holiday from work and I
have gone to Moscow to receive the visa. I informed good news to
Justin, but he has answered, that does not want our meeting. He
played with me. He has informed that has the wife with two children
and at all has no plans to meet me. I was not ready to such turn of
events. I could not think what even after 8 months of acquaintance he
can so unscrupulously act with me. Now I am in Moscow trip to Moscow
and reception of visa. I do not want that all was gone for nothing and
will be glad if my visa will be useful to our meeting. I could arrive
already through 4-5 days, but a problem in that that now I have no man
which would like my arrival. Probable it will silly sound but if you
will be interested in a meeting with the good woman I shall like to
meet you sometime soon! As Justin was dishonest with me I have
decided to find the man which is interested to meet the woman from
Russia. I do not know your ideas about my letter, but it would be fine
if we could meet and have some weeks or months together. On my trip I
want to receive rest from my work and a life in Russia. Also the basic
purpose for the future it is search good men for serious attitudes
which go to a marriage. I have no children, but I want to have
children in the future. I am the mature woman and ready to creation of
family with good man. I do not know what you really search in the
future but if we could meet I shall be happy to discuss with you more
about our meeting. What are you going to do this time? It would be
fine if we could meet, do friendship or more than simply friendship. I
shall be happy if you also have a free time and we could meet soon. I
do not know your interests, but anyhow write to me back and I shall
tell to you more about myself. Write to me all that you want. Maybe we
have similar plans and it will be interesting to us together.

You can write all that you want. Ask any questions which interest you.
Write to me back and I shall tell more about myself and send more my
photos.

Please, write to me back on my regular e-mail: zolnadja@bk.ru
Have a good day,

Nadejda.

Good, eh?

Originally posted on lightsoutfilms.vox.com

Inspired by some other posts, here I compile all the aliases of our dog, Chloe. These are actual things that we call her. And in comparison to others, I’ve noticed that ours are of the descriptive variety, instead of the sing-songy rhyming variety. I think this says a lot about us as a couple. I’m not really sure WHAT, but it does say A LOT.

Chloe

Monster

Chloe-Monster

Stinkbreath

Baby Fishbreath (a problem, ameliorated by the occasional raw hide bone, thankfully)

Gasbelly

Stinkbutt

Grassbelly (given her penchant for eating long, luscious blades of grass)

Fat Belly

Little baby Chloe

Shiny black beauty

Beauty

Sweet Pea

Good Dog Chloe

GDC (see above)

Update: I forgot the following: Friend, Good Friend, Friend Chloe, Good Friend Chloe