The name of this show sounds like the title of a terrible Jean Claude Van Damme film. The plot would be something involving a series of competitions with stereotypical, culturally insentive enemies, and the final fight would involve shards of glass and take place on top of a slowly revolving platform in an empty-but-still-functional warehouse. Lucky for us, Fight Quest doesn’t involve Muscles from Brussels or plots involving airplanes and explosions. Though it does involve martial arts in far flung land.

The first season now on the Discovery Channel, Fight Quest follows Jimmy and Doug, as they travel around the globe, visit cultures with a deep tradition of martial arts, train, spar and compete. The conceit of the show is that these two men have five days to train with experts of each martial art, after which they take place in a small scale competition to prove their mettle. Not surprisingly, considering the short amount of time that they have to train, neither Jimmy nor Doug dominates in any realm, but it’s amazing to see how each fighter uses their strengths and which of the two is most tuned to a given style.

Fight Quest is part travel show, part Martial Arts fighting event. You can learn a lot about the people of a land, just by seeing the way that they train. The relentless, quiet training of the Japanese, the artistic flow of French savate, the brutal quickness of Pencak Silat.

It’s strange, in these days of mixed martial arts and hybrid forms, that the pure artistry of these specific martial arts forms are celebrated. You can see how each of these forms have their roots in self-defense, and at the same time, just how many holes they have if they were to be used in anything outside of the confines of the sport.

As clumsy as Jimmy and Doug can appear while doing something completely foreign to them, you get the sense that given their ability to use and combine different forms and their very American MMA training, that they would be able to dominate almost every practitioner that they come across in a no holds-barred environment (except for maybe the Brazilians).

But that’s not what this show is about- who’s best in a fight. It’s about two Americans learning the traditional arts of different cultures and doing their best. Fight Quest may not feature the best of fight competitions or the most in-depth of travelogues, but for anyone interested in fighting, traveling, or fighting while traveling, it’s a compelling show.

In these days of slowed down fictional TV shows, reality and documentary TV may be the only bastion of true entertainment. I mean, what else are you going to watch? More Rock of Love 2?

TV Grade: B+

Fight Quest at the Discovery Channel Website

It all starts a little fuzzy. That’s because I’m not going to waste my time watching this episode for the 3rd time this week, just because I want to review it on this stupid little site. I think it starts as Jessie complains to Zack, Slater and Screech, that’s she’s just real busy with school right now. Jessie seems to have a lot on her plate. The ever so helpful Screech makes a whining, over the top comment and the audience titters. The scene continues.

The other two sexy girls on the show, Kelly and Lisa take a long boring walk in the background of the Maxx and put a nickel in the jukebox. Luckily, they manage to find the Pointer Sisters song “I’m So Excited,” out of date even when the show first aired. They walk up to Jessie and begin snapping their fingers in time with the music. Then they goad Jessie into singing along with them. The whole cast looks amazingly uncomfortable as they warble out the songs. The audience, clever puppets that they are, release monkey shrills and claps at the completion of the performance. Jessie proclaims that she indeed feels better. But not for long – for Miss Spano will soon enter into a heart of caffeine darkness.

Zack helpfully explains that he has an uncle or other molest-worthy relative who is looking for a girl group “like the New Kids on the Block.” The audience laughs when AC explains, “Yeah, except the new chicks on the block.” Ha. Sometime later Jessie finds out that she’s not doing so well in one of her classes. She doesn’t quite have a straight A average, and she definitely needs one to get in Stanford. So she decides to study real hard. Unfortunately, her burgeoning musical career needs some study time too. At Zack’s suggestion, Lisa, Kelly and Jessie are “The Hot Sundaes” and soon will make their industry appearance in front of a panel of non-SAG actors who don’t have any lines. But first their music video. “Get down to it / Go for it / Come on and break a sweat / Rock and Roll / You ain’t seen nothing yet.” And so go the words for the fantastic Hot Sundaes video. I don’t think I’d reached puberty when this show first hit the air, because if I had, I would have instantly been enthralled by the three girls, dancing around in gaudy 80’s leotards and jumping up and down on trampolines. I’m not kidding. Plus, the song has those unfortunate hooks that stick in your head… much like the vision of a pre-breast implant Tiffany-Amber Thiessen doing jumping jacks sticks in mine. The video contains so many wonderful moments: the girls’ superimposed faces a la Hall and Oates’ “Maneater” video, the quick cuts of the girls in different outfits. You name the 80’s video cliche, this video contained it. Make no mention of the fact that the episode aired in the 90’s (which, by a quick check… wait a minute. This is too great to be coincidence. The show first went on the air November 3rd, 1990. This also happened to be my birthday – my 12th! No wonder I love this so much. It was a fine Saturday, my birthday. I awoke early and watched Saved by the Bell like so many other Saturdays. I wonder if I was cynical back then. Probably. This plot is so ridiculous, I couldn’t imagine how I could have been fooled into thinking it was even somewhat believable.)

With such a busy schedule, Jessie has begun to pop caffeine pills in order to study all day and sing all evening. Slater finds out about her burgeoning drug addiction, so he tells her that “those things are trouble.” No-Doze is like Vicodin, I’m telling you. Jessie nods her head. Of course – why would such a smart girl do something as stupid as take a handful of No-Doze because she’s busy for a week? In particularly frightening scene, Jessie sits in an empty hallway, sneaks a look around her and pops a pill. ‘No Jessie!’ you will cry, as you begin to see her descent into madness. Later, Slater confronts Zack about Jessie’s drug use, which he refuses to believe for some reason. “She’s my friend!” Zack loudly screams to the be-mulleted Mario Lopez. Zack must have alcoholic parents, because he’s an enabler in the very worst way.

Finally the day of reckoning comes. It’s the big audition day, but it’s also the day of that major test that Jessie has been up studying for a week. In the classroom, Jessie twitches and speaks much too loudly as she proudly finishes her test with what appears to be 100 percent correctness. Well by-gummit, the little druggy has really done it! Now all she has to do is finish the audition and her plan for Bayside domination is complete. Alas, that is not to be.

Our next scene opens on Jessie asleep on the bed. Zack enters the room eager to wake her. The audition is about to start. Jessie groggily wakes up and begins to spout useless math terms like a drunken Einstein. Zack tells her that she’s confused and she already had the test. She needs to get ready but Zack tells her that there’s no time. And then begins what is possibly the best loved acting exchanges in all of Saved by the Bell-um.

Jessie: “No time! No time! There’s never enough time!”
Zack: “C’mon Jessie! You have to sing!”
Jessie: “Sing? Sing? I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so…scared!”

Jessie collapses into Zack’s arms where he begins to tell her about the good times they had together when they were young. Not the best time to hit on a woman, but you go ahead and do your thing Zack. Meanwhile, at the Maxx, The Hot Sundaes perform with Screech in Jessie’s role. This is stupid beyond the use of words. So is the end of the episode, where the gang gathers around Jessie’s bed. She’s getting help she tells the gang. End of episode.

For some unknown reason, this episode has stuck in the mind of many a Gen-Xer who was suckled on the teat of mother television every Saturday. OK, I know the reason: it’s really overly dramatic and it contains references to everything hated about the 80’s: New Kids on the Block, bad music videos, Just Say No campaigns, bad nerd jokes. But through all this hatred, it still holds a place in my stubborn cynical heart.

Jessie’s Song? No…our song…

Malcolm in the Middle Season One Review
3 Discs. 13 half hour episodes. Director / cast commentary. Deleted scenes. Outtakes. Available for about $30

Like so many other things that I enjoy, Malcolm in the Middle separates itself far from the rest of the pack. Here we have a sitcom, with the normal setup – a crazy family, yet it never feels as bad and boring as those other sitcoms. Part of it has to do with the production. A single camera show (like a movie…Friends by comparison is considered a 3 camera show.. like I Love Lucy) with no laugh track or audience. The result is a refreshing, always funny look at an insane family. Of course, the acting is all superb. Some may remember Brian Cranston from his recurring role as dentist Tim Whatley on Seinfeld. He’s never been better than he is here as the confused patriarch Hal. Jane Kaczmarek plays mother Lois, definitely the standout of the cast, getting to say the best punchlines, and slap the most little kids (and rightfully earning that Emmy). The rest of the cast (Frankie Muniz, Christopher Masterson, Justin Berfield and Erik Per Sullivan) fit together perfectly as brothers. There’s just so much to love about this show. Most importantly, it’s real funny.

Video 4 out of 5
It’s a TV show, so don’t expect anything to show off your system. But it has little or no grain and a bright color palette. Everything is how it should be.

Audio 4 out of 5
Not gonna break any speakers, front centered with little action in the rear channels if you have surround sound.

Extras 4 out of 5
For a TV show, this is pretty good. The commentaries are interesting and informative, the bloopers are funny – overall it’s all enjoyable for fans of the show.

Overall 4 out of 5
Do yourself the favor and buy this set. It stands as one of the smartest sitcoms on television. For a cynical guy like me, it made me laugh quite a bit.