Alien Vs. Predator
No, it’s not as bad as you’ve heard, but it’s certainly not as good as you hoped. The horror that is Alien vs. Predator is not wrought by beast, but by man. In this case, that man is Paul W.S. Anderson, most stupendous superhack of all directors. Yes, if there’s any question about it, a wonderful opportunity to make a great movie was squandered by someone whose talents are better suited to the direct to video market. Almost completely lacking in both name brand and quality acting talent, the movie is forced to rest on its action laurels alone. And what goddamn shaky laurels they are.The first and most obvious issue comes by way of the visual look of the film. For few exceptions, the worlds of Predator and Alien are not slick and neo-futuristic. Both film series (of admittedly greatly varying quality) look dingy, dark and horrible. Like the world is too dirty to clean and with spaceships that look more slapped together than engineered. Paul BS… (I’m sorry)… Paul W.S. turns this whole concept on its head by having space ships, weaponry, and hell, even ancient pyramids, that look like more of something out of Star Trek rather than the very distinct worlds of battling aliens.
And it’s not even as though the plot of Alien vs. Predator is THAT bad. Oh, it’s convoluted enough, and not exactly the kind of straightforward action that we got in all the other alien and predator movies. No, the fact that it essentially a coming of age film about the “good” Predators isn’t even the worst part, it’s just that it’s filmed in such a terrible way, and paced in a very strange manner. It’s that it’s led by characters so undeniably uninteresting, that you really don’t care when they die.
Here’s the lowdown on the plot, for those that even bother to think about that sort of thing: it’s modern day, pre-Ripley, and one would suppose post-Predator because that took place in the 1980′s. Anyway, in this non-futuristic setting, Lance Henriksen and his mega-corporation has found an ancient temple in the Artic Circle. He assembles a team to explore it, and soon they find themselves in a ritualistic war (or hunt) between the aliens and the Predators. Not to ruin anything boring for you, but it seems that this temple is a sort of proving grounds for teen Predators. Hmmm. The humans get eaten by Predator and Alien alike, but eventually “team up” with the predators in a creepy and unnecessary display of ridiculousness.
That’s not to say that the film doesn’t have its high points, because it is interesting in its own right. I mean, if it was on the SciFi Channel on a Friday night, it’d be more than a sufficent offering for the B-Movie crowd. Hell, even given it’s rather strange presentation, the film has enough blood, guts and suspenseful moments to make it worth a pizza-and-beer type film festival. But you get the undeniable feeling as you’re watching this film, that they’ve gone and squandered a great opportunity. Two of the biggest and most interesting monster franchises of the past 20 years flushed down the toilet, and you say to yourself, “Man it could have been, nay, should have been, so much better.”
Movie Grade: C-
Video and Audio: 4 out of 5
Not surprisingly, this new film looks pretty darn good with its wide scope, nice dark levels and clean picture. Sound rocks, which serves to cover the misshapen production design. Go with the DTS if you’re going to listen at all.
English (DTS 5.1), English (Dolby Digital 5.1), Spanish (Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround), French (Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround) / Anamorphic Widescreen – 2.35:1
Extras: 3 out of 5
So, so extras and nothing that’d I’d want to watch more than once. There’s an alternate version of the film, but to be honest, I didn’t notice much difference between the two. Maybe some more blood. There are a handful of unneccessary deleted scenes, and a short making-of featurette. Also a couple of commentaries with the “director” and other various people in the production. Too much about how great the movie is.
Overall: 2 out of 5
This film makes me mad, but you should take a look for yourself to see how bad you dislike it. At the very least, worth a rental.