Bad Boys 2
Bad Boys II finds Mike and Marcus returning as the two most destructive cops in the history of policedom. They’re trying to bust an international drug ring making its way through Miami – but mostly they’re busy blowing shit up and sticking their hands in corpses. I really wish I were kidding about that. Aided by FBI hottie and Marcus-sibling Syd (Gabrielle Union), they attempt to take down a generic foreign bad guy. You know he’s bad because he hasn’t shaved in a couple of weeks, has long stringy hair and speaks with some kind of accent.
There’s really not much more to the film – Bad Boys II has one of the most incomprehensible plots in recent memory. I have no idea who did what to whom, why and I don’t even know when. It’s that confusing. Chew on this: all of a sudden, like all these Haitians jump out of a car transport and start shooting. A chase ensues, the Haitian dudes die and we never hear from then again. It’s obvious that what thin plot exists serves only to support the action sequences that make up most of the movie. And certainly, that has some appeal – to see car chases and gunfights in a never-ending stream of visual idiocy. Bad Boys II is successful on that level. There are plenty of shootouts, car chases and beat downs.
But the real problem with Bad Boys II is how ugly and mean spirited it is. Bodies on a morgue truck get needlessly decapitated, Lawrence ogles the breasts of a dead woman, seemingly hundreds are shot and killed, heads explode. It’s not that I have anything against these elements in context, but they don’t fit within the movie. For sure, you suppress a certain amount of disbelief when you see this film, but you’d never suspect that it’d be more akin to a horror movie than an action movie. Bad Boys II does not offend me, but I can safely say that it’s the very definition of gratuitous.
It gets worse. In Cuba, Mike and Marcus conduct a car chase down a hill covered with shanties and shacks, destroying an entire village in one fell swoop. Of course, Michael Bay must have realized what a terrible story choice it was to have the heroes of the film destroy the homes of the poor, so he places an off-camera line in which is mumbled, “they’re making drugs.” Sure thing Mike. Good save. This is only trumped by another off-camera line following a shootout and car chase in which dozens, if not hundreds, of cops were killed or maimed: “At least no cops were hurt.”
In some of the extras for the film, Bay explains how he tries to amp up the action for every subsequent film. My only suggestion was to go all out and show little kids and the elderly getting shot in the face, along with all the other gratuitous things we see. Why not, Michael? You’ve come so far already.
Movie Grade: D
Video: 4 out of 5
It’s a great presentation, but my only complaint is a little bit of desaturation. I’m not sure how much of that is intentional to give it a washed out look, but it’s a little distracting.
Widescreen Anamorphic – 2.40:1
Audio: 4 out of 5
Yeah, it rocks. Michael Bay movies are big looking and loud.
English (Dolby Digital 5.1), French (Dolby Digital 5.1)
Extras: 4 out of 5
Shit. The extras are pretty good. Nothing on the first disc to speak of, but the second is pretty packed, if not a little poorly presented. The haul:
- 6 crap, unfunny deleted scenes
- 2 featurettes running a total of 1/2 hour on stunts and visual effects. Some cool stuff.
- Sequence Breakdowns takes 6 scenes and gives you storyboards and previz, on-set video, and the script. The best part of each section is probably the on-set video, which runs anywhere from two to ten minutes.
- By far the best extra is the combined production diaries. It’s simply video of the goings on of shooting, with no narration. There’s a problem, in that you can’t watch them all at once and you have to pick them individually from the menu. If you were to string them together, it’d be just over an hour.
Overall: 2 out of 5
The crap quality of the movie itself can’t warrant a higher grade, but it’s a great presentation that can show off your system if you’re so inclined. I hope you’re not inclined.