Lights Out Films

An Open Letter to an Ebay Seller

Dear Sir Who Sold My Friend Your Cameraphone,

I do have your real name, even where you live, though for the decency and protection of all involved, I will not be releasing it to the public. I just have one or two hints for you:

1) When selling your phone, you might want to make sure that you delete all your contacts . There’s no reason we need, or should have, access to all the people that you know.

2) It’d probably be prudent to delete your gallery of pictures with all your dogs’ names. I’m curious about who’s finger that was that got sawed in half by something sharp though. How many stitches did that need?

and most importantly,

3) Make sure that you delete the little cameraphone video of your wife. You know the one. She’s a pretty gal, and I mean that truly. And it must have been on a special day, because she’s in a nice silk and lace teddy. I’d go so far as to say that your wife looks really hot. You’re a lucky man. Especially when she flashes the matching panties. But that doesn’t match the coup de grace. The flash of the naked breast is really what makes it special.

OK, so it’s not porn and the video is the size of a postage stamp – but it’s not exactly the kind of thing that you want floating around out there.

Even more importantly, you want to make sure that no one takes that video, downloads it to their new mac via Bluetooth, and keeps it for posting use on his blog at a future date.
Yeah, you want to make sure that doesn’t happen.